Men

Book Review: Five Marks of a Man

/ J.K. / 2 Comments

Five Marks of a Man

My Rating – Put it on your list

Level – Quick, easy, short

Summary
Just as the title says, the author lays out what he sees as the five distinctions of a man. They are that men – have a vision, take a minority position, are team players, work, and are protectors. The book is broken into sections for each mark, each of which is four to six chapters for a total of 24, plus a ‘how to read this book’, an intro, a conclusion, and finally what he calls an epilogue, but is basically a sales pitch for a camp he runs.

My Thoughts
Writing a book about what it means/is to be a man is problematic. It would be a life goal of mine to write a book for men, but first, I’m not a very good writer, and more important, I think it is basically impossible. Broadly speaking, there are two major errors that, as much as I hate to do this, generally fall on the liberal/conservative spectrum. On the liberal side there is a tendency to downplay or even dismiss the uniqueness of men (this is likely why there are few books from this side), which is neither physically, biologically, or Biblically accurate. On the conservative side you have a the hamming up of things like football, trucks, and Braveheart. While these are all things I enjoy immensely, they having nothing to do Biblical concepts. In reality, that is all marketing.

This book falls, obviously, into the later category. A few examples before I move on to what was good about the book: seemingly the ability to do push ups related to your level of manliness; apparently having a cat is feminine so he makes it clear that not only does he have a dog (which I guess is manly?), but that it is big (extra manly?); camping outdoorsiness also equals manliness (though he isn’t nearly as bad as Eldredge); and most egregiously, the shotgun out on the counter for the guy who wants to date his daughter. Good Lord help the insecurities of these men.

I cannot fathom feeling it necessary to bring my shotgun out when Sprout starts dating. What is the implication? That I want to scare you for some reason? That I will literally kill you? The dating(ish) chapter, in the ‘protector’ section, was so bad that I considered downgrading my rating. He goes on to say that later he took out (for a meal) a guy who wanted to date his second daughter. He talked with the young man about relationship and sex and his daughter, apparently. I find that a little weird, but maybe it is alright, except for one thing, there is no mention what so ever that he had any discussions with his son. Not even a parenthetical, ‘as I told my own son’. Nothing. No indication that he has ever discussed dating with his son. Now, maybe I’m too cynical and as it is a book for men, maybe it is implied that he did, but I don’t think so. That leaves me with two possible explanations, one, overly cliched writing on manliness stereotyped manliness lead him to just not include it in the book. Two, he proved various liberals, atheist, and other antagonistic to Christianity to be correct in that he only cares about the virginity/purity of his daughters and his son can do whatever he wants. This is incredibly problematic and frustrating.

Men, we have to do better than this cliched nonsense. When we do this we look like a bunch of jackasses. There is nothing Biblical about point a gun a teenage boy who wants to date your daughter, it makes you an idiot (check out our governor elect for more info). If you believe in tying sex and marriage together you need to talk to your own son as well as your daughter (her lady brain can handle it, I promise).

No, back to the review. While that particular chapter was garbage, or a terribly failed attempt, I still like the book for one very major reason – the entire premise is that the opposite of a man, is a boy. Yes, the Tome appears to fall victim to many cliches of supposed manliness, but he never contrast the masculine with the feminine. It is a terrible error for us today to think that what it means to be a man is to simply not be a women. With a three year old and two more on the way, I will need to buy a van. Recently, someone told me not to drive one, because women drive them. No, boys drive unnecessary trucks (what I had before my daughter was born), men drive what is best for their families and don’t concern themselves with what boys think they should drive. What women may do has nothing to do with it.

I really appreciate his focus on this aspect, because I think it is true. Now, I don’t think every one of his points lines up perfectly, or maybe some points just need a qualification. For instance, a man might often take a majority opinion, you don’t take minority opinions just because. So, maybe some clarifying language would be nice, if I’m going to pick some nits.

The strength of the book probably comes in the two sections on team players and work. Maybe the former being the best. He really challenges men to show affection to other men, to have close friends, and to connect with community. I believe that is something that is extremely important, especially in our disconnected world today. He shows how (basically after WW1), men stopped loving each other and bought into the lie of the ‘lone wolf’. He has a great point about wolves being pack animals and single ones would likely die quickly. But we believe that being men means being alone, and especially not sharing our lives with other men. This is clearly not even Biblically accurate (he points to David and Paul and the way they wrote about their relationships with other men). I was personally challenged in this section of the book, and I think others will be as well.

Overall, the book is pretty good. Most men will get a good deal of helpful info, though you can probably skip the section on protector, except the finance part. I also believe these books have to be graded on a curve, because they are so hard to pull off. The lazy cliches and over the top stereotypes are just too easy. With that in mind, if you have an interest in working with men or men’s ministry, area man, a husband, a father, or are raising a man it is worth putting on your list.

*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

Book Review: Disciplines of a Godly Man

/ J.K. / 4 Comments

Disciplines of a Godly Man – R. Kent Hughes

My Rating – Must Read

Level – Fairly easy read, moderate length

Summary
As the title implies, this is a book about disciplines for men who are trying to live a ‘Godly’ life. After the introduction Hughes goes into the 17 disciplines he has identified as needed for men. He breaks these into four broad categories –

Relationships – which he identifies as the disciplines of purity, marriage, fatherhood, and friendship. He uses the story of David to illustrate the importance of purity. Originally written in 1991 and revised in 2001, there is the noticeable lack of discussion of internet porn. It seems almost funny (naive?) that he would warn about magazines like Playboy, which doesn’t even have nudity anymore. The chapters on marriage and fatherhood are about what you’d expect, though I think he does a good job of warning fathers not to be too harsh in punishment; something often quite lacking in the Christian world. He finishes this section with a chapter on friendship. This was a challenging chapter and a topic I think is often overlooked.

Soul – mind, devotion, prayer, and worship. Mind, encourages us to watch out mental intake. He points out the statistics of the amount of TV people watch on a daily basis as compared to the relatively small amount spent reading. He isn’t opposed to TV, just points out that for the most part, it is there just to kill time, and recommends different things to read instead – Scripture and Christian literature. Devotion, he breaks down into meditation (on the word), confession, and adoration. Prayer and worship are also as you’d expect, worship being specifically about importance of corporate worship.

Character – integrity, tongue, work, and perseverance. Being a man of integrity and clean speech are fairly typical, but the work aspect is unique. I found it especially telling that he would put a chapter on the importance of working in the character section of the book, and after reading the chapter and his arguments, one I fully agree with. The chapter on perseverance was also a new idea to me. His general point is that things aren’t easy, and it takes time to accomplish things, and often it is hard just to keep going. This chapter is a short, but helpful, call to focus on what God has laid out for you and to continue on the path.

Ministry – church, leadership, giving, witness, and ministry. Again, chapters like being involved in church, giving money, and witnessing (evangelism) are typical and as expected. Leadership is another short chapter that bring a different perspective, but something that is important for men especially. We are all called to be leadership in one aspect or another, work, family, the church, etc. He rounds out the section on ministry with a chapter about, well, ministry. By this he means the importance of actually doing something. Be involved, be willing to be uncomfortable, to be challenged, and to fail, if all for the glory of Christ.

Finally, there is a short epilogue with a concluding argument for the importance of Godly discipline and the correct response to grace God has given us. The book is then packed with another 50 pages or so of ‘resources’ including the hilariously dated ‘Bible on Audiocassette’, which, honestly, I’m surprised made it into the updated version (the word is so old that my spell-checker is telling me I have it spelled incorrectly). There are also Bible reading plans (including M’Cheyne, which I recommend), helpful Proverbs regarding speech, hymns, choruses, and praise Psalms. As a reading nerd, the most interesting resource to me was his reading survey. He asks a number of well known evangelicals questions regarding their favorite books. This in itself is probably worth the price of the book, and I should probably make it it’s own post.

Last note on the book, the cover clearly states that there is a complete study guide. This is not what you are probably expecting (unless there was a shipping error and I didn’t receive some sort of stand alone guide), as there isn’t a dedicated ‘study guide’ section. Instead, at the end of each chapter, are some thoughts and discussion questions.

My Thoughts
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Written very well in general, it especially pastoral in practice and effect. The typical disciplines you see (not a negative, they are always written about because they clearly Biblical and obviously important) written about are handled well, but the strength of this books comes from some of the other chapters that tackles things you don’t always see, such as friendship and work.

I’d say this is probably the best book on disciplines I’ve read so far. One major down side is that, obviously, it is mostly geared to men. Some chapters are universal disciplines, but are written about from man’s perspective, and some chapters are specifically for men. That being said, if you have a father, a son, a husband, or really just any man, this book is a must read on the disciplines that God expects of you.